50 Microsoft Teams Jokes for People Stuck in the App

I click the Teams icon in the taskbar. Two Teams windows open. The new one and the one that was already running for six hours.

I have Teams installed four ways. The work version, the personal version, the school version from 2020, and the one that came with the laptop.

The meeting invite is in Outlook. The meeting is in Teams. The agenda is in a OneNote linked from a SharePoint that lives in a third Team.

The calendar invite has three Join links. One for Teams, one for the bridge, one that goes to a Skype meeting from 2019.

Teams says: "Teams is having issues. We'll have you back up soon." It has been saying this since Tuesday.

We have a channel called Announcements. No one has read it since the channel called Announcements 2 was created.

Our team has 47 channels. Forty-six of them have one message that says "Testing" from someone who has left the company.

Someone posted in General. It was a birthday GIF for a person in a different department.

I @here'd the channel. A director replied: "please use @team next time." The @team is the same 12 people as @here.

I uploaded the file six times to find the latest version. They are all named Final. The newest one is called Final_v2_USE_THIS.

Teams said: "This file is stored in SharePoint." That is the last time anyone ever saw it.

We have an org-wide Team. It has 4,000 members and one post. The post says "Welcome to the org-wide Team."

I asked a question in the channel. They answered in the chat. I asked a follow-up in the chat. They answered in a different chat with one extra person.

The recording is in Stream. Stream is in OneDrive now. OneDrive is in SharePoint. The recording does not exist.

I said "I can't find the chat." Teams said "have you tried scrolling." I scrolled. The chat was from 2022 and titled "Quick question."

The call has an echo. I ask who has two devices joined. Everyone says it is not them. The echo is me.

Teams logged me into the wrong tenant. I clicked Switch tenant. It logged me into a third tenant I have never heard of.

I clicked Switch organization. It reloaded. It loaded the same org I was already in.

The GIF picker has one good GIF. It is the one everyone uses. It is a cat typing.

I sent praise. The badge said Achiever. My coworker replied: "what did I achieve."

I got a loyalty badge. I have been at the company for four months.

Breakout rooms came to Teams two years after every other product. The announcement was in the channel nobody reads.

Teams said Loading... I made coffee. I came back. It was still Loading...

My signature has three job titles. Two of them are from previous roles. The third is auto-generated by IT and says "Knowledge Worker."

IT installed Teams. IT installed Teams again. IT installed New Teams. New Teams uninstalled Classic Teams and then asked me to install Classic Teams.

Teams launches on boot. I uncheck the box in Settings. It launches on boot the next day.

Teams is using 7 GB of RAM. It is showing me one chat with three messages in it.

I have 12 chats open. The typing indicator is on in all of them. No message arrives in any of them.

Did they see my message. There is no read receipt. There is a Seen indicator that means nothing. I will assume the worst.

Someone turned on Together Mode. We are all sitting in a virtual auditorium. I am next to the CEO. We are pretending this is normal.

I raised my hand. There are 200 people on the call. My hand is somewhere on page four of the participants list.

I keep getting "You have been invited to a team" emails. It is for a team I left in 2022. The team has been deleted twice.

I clicked Leave team. Teams warned me: "You will no longer have access to this team." That was the goal.

We federated with the vendor. The vendor's Teams cannot message our Teams. The vendor uses Slack now.

The guest account works. The guest account cannot see the channel. The guest account cannot see the files. The guest account can see one emoji.

I tried to message someone external. Teams said: "This organization does not allow chat with external users." The external user is in the same building.

I called a phone number from Teams. The person picked up. They heard nothing. They called me back on my actual phone.

I have a voicemail in Teams. It is a transcript of someone clearing their throat. The audio file is 47 minutes long.

The bridge dial-in code is 14 digits. The conference ID is 9 digits. The pound key is doing a lot of work.

Teams asked: "Where would you like to join from." The options are: this device, this device, and this device. They are all this device.

Join from this device, it said. This device joined. The other this device also joined.

The standup was forwarded to me as an MP4. It is 32 minutes long. The standup was supposed to be 15.

The transcript spelled my name four different ways. None of them are my name. One of them is a verb.

I joined the channel meeting. Nobody else joined. The channel meeting has been running for 40 minutes with just me.

Teams said: "People will see your screen." They did. They saw 19 tabs and a Slack window.

Someone inserted a Loop component. Nobody knows what to do with it. It updates in real time and nobody is editing it.

We opened a Whiteboard. Nobody can draw. The Whiteboard has one rectangle and the word "sync" written sideways.

Teams updated itself. The icon moved. The sidebar reordered. My pinned chats are gone. The release notes are in a channel I cannot access.

I searched for a message. Teams returned 0 results. I searched for the same message. Teams returned 1,400 results, none of them the message.

Status set to Do Not Disturb. Teams delivered the message anyway. It also pinged me on my phone, my watch, and my Outlook.

I closed Teams. Teams minimized to the tray. I quit Teams from the tray. It opened a new Teams window to ask if I was sure.