55 AI Replacing Jobs Jokes for Everyone Watching the Headlines

Every six months a headline announces AI has replaced a profession. The profession is still hiring.

The CEO laid off 12% of the company. The email mentioned AI nine times. The AI is one ChatGPT API key.

"AI will replace developers." The developers are now reviewing AI-generated code full-time.

The McKinsey report said 47% of jobs are at risk. The report was generated by AI.

"We're augmenting our workforce with AI." Translation: Three people are now doing eight people's jobs.

Headline: "AI replaces lawyers." The lawyer who used AI is also the lawyer being disbarred for citing fake cases.

"AI will not replace doctors. Doctors who use AI will replace doctors who do not." The doctors: Still doing both jobs.

The company replaced the support team with a chatbot. The chatbot now escalates everything to engineering.

"AI will free workers for more creative tasks." The creative task: Fixing the AI's output.

Customer: "Can I speak to a human?" The chatbot: "As a fellow human…"

The layoffs were announced on the Friday before the AI rollout was due to be reviewed.

LinkedIn: "AI is the new electricity." The electricity: Billed to the company at $42M a year.

"AI will write the code." The engineer: Is now the editor.

The CEO who said "AI will not replace anyone" laid off the team that maintained the documentation.

Every consulting deck has the same slide: "AI plus humans beats either alone." The humans: Were not budgeted for.

"AI is coming for white collar jobs." The blue collar trades: Having the best decade in fifty years.

The headline said AI is replacing journalists. The headline was written by a journalist about a press release.

"We don't need designers, we have Midjourney." The brand has somehow generated a logo of a six-fingered hand.

The company's AI assistant has been at the company longer than half the new hires.

"AI doesn't take breaks." The AI: Is in a maintenance window right now.

Three roles got eliminated. Four new roles got created. All four are titled "AI something."

The McKinsey deck said "reskilling." Reskilling, in practice: A Coursera course at 11 p.m.

"AI will replace recruiters." The recruiters: Now placing prompt engineers.

Every "AI replaces X" headline is followed three months later by an "X is making a comeback" headline.

The plumber, the electrician, the dentist, and the chef remain undefeated.

"AI will democratize creation." The creations: All look the same.

The company hired an AI ethics consultant. The consultant was a chatbot.

AI is replacing jobs. It is also replacing the people writing about AI replacing jobs.

Headline: "AI will eliminate 300 million jobs." The author: Has been writing the same headline since 2017.

The company replaced the copywriter with AI. The AI was fine. The brand voice quietly died.

"AI will not take your job. Someone using AI will take your job." Everybody is now using AI. Nobody is hiring.

The CEO laid off the QA team. The AI tests are now writing the bugs they used to catch.

"AI levels the playing field." The playing field: Now tilted more steeply than before.

The intern got promoted to AI lead. The AI lead is now the manager. The team is the same three people.

Press release: "Strategic realignment of resources." Translation: Layoffs. Reason: AI.

"This is augmentation, not replacement." The augmented team: 40% smaller.

Every Reddit thread: "Is AI coming for my job?" The answer is always: "Depends on how boring your job is."

The company has no recruiters anymore. The AI screens resumes. The AI also rejected the founder's own resume in a test.

Job posting: "AI-resistant skills required." The skills listed: The same as last year's posting.

The C-suite is hiring an Office of Strategic AI Transformation. The office: Five Chief Whatevers.

Goldman Sachs report: "300 million jobs exposed to AI." Goldman Sachs: Still has the same 49,000 employees.

The World Economic Forum predicted 85 million jobs displaced by 2025. It is 2026. The prediction is now for 2030.

The LinkedIn thought leader has pivoted their thought leadership for 20 years. From blockchain, to crypto, to web3, to AI. The headshot is the same.

The freelancer market after ChatGPT: Rates dropped 60%. The clients still complain about quality.

The artists organized a boycott. The model trained on the boycott statement.

The dubbing industry collapsed. The replacement voice has the same three intonations across every language.

The entry-level coding job market in 2024: Closed for renovation. The renovation: A copilot license.

The "AI-proof careers" listicle is mostly trades. The comments are 400 people arguing about HVAC.

Customer screaming "AGENT" into the IVR. The IVR: "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." The customer, on the eleventh try: "AGENT."

The chatbot escalated the ticket to a senior agent. The senior agent was also a chatbot. The senior agent escalated it back.

The consulting firm laid off 5% of staff. The same firm is selling AI transformation engagements for $4M each.

The call center pivoted to "AI-augmented support." Translation: The agents now read a script the AI wrote about a customer the AI already failed.

The writing teacher can no longer tell which essays are real. The students can no longer tell which feedback is real. The class is a closed loop.

The executive recorded every meeting on Otter for three years. Now they are writing a LinkedIn post about AI replacing executives.

The radio DJ was replaced by an AI voice. The AI voice still does the traffic report at the same wrong time.