There Are Two Types of People: 600+ Jokes About Everyone You Know

There are two types of people: those who save their passwords, and those who click "Forgot Password" every single week.

There are two types of people: those who set one alarm, and those who set six and still negotiate with all of them.

There are two types of people: those who reply to a text in four seconds, and those who reply in March.

There are two types of people: those who make the bed every morning, and those who say "I'm just getting back in it."

There are two types of people: those who return the shopping cart, and those we are watching.

There are two types of people: those who fold the laundry, and those who own a clean-clothes chair.

There are two types of people: those who order their own fries, and those who "just have a few" of yours.

There are two types of people: those who reverse neatly into the spot, and those who will be late because of them.

There are two types of people: morning people, and people who are correct.

There are two types of people: those who pack a week early, and those folding shirts while the taxi honks.

There are two types of people: those who read the menu before they arrive, and those who order "the same as him."

There are two types of people: those who use a shopping list, and those who buy three things and forget the one they came for.

There are two types of people: those who hit snooze once, and those still in talks at 6:14 a.m.

There are two types of people: those who keep one browser tab open, and those whose phone is quietly on fire.

There are two types of people: those who say "we should hang out soon," and those who mean it.

There are two types of people: those who read the terms and conditions, and those who have legally owed a kidney since 2009.

There are two types of people: those who finish the leftovers, and those who let them evolve.

There are two types of people: those who arrive at the airport two hours early, and those who have made peace with running.

There are two types of people: those who keep their cables neatly coiled, and those who own a drawer.

There are two types of people: those who drink water all day, and those who remember water exists at 11 p.m.

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

There are two types of people: those who text "k," and those who deserve to be texted "k."

There are two types of people: those who try the new restaurant, and those who order "the usual" at a place they have been to once.

There are two types of people: those who plan the entire trip, and those who simply show up and get fed.

There are two types of people: those who keep the receipt, and those who are the reason stores have a return policy at all.

There are two types of people: those who screenshot the confirmation, and those searching their inbox at the gate.

There are two types of people: those who let one car merge, and those who close the gap like it owes them money.

There are two types of people: those who charge the phone at 30%, and those who treat 1% as a personality.

There are two types of people: those who unsubscribe, and those who have 47,000 unread emails and complete inner peace.

There are two types of people: those who finish what they start, and those who finish what they sta

There are two types of AI users: those who verify the answer, and those who become the answer.

There are two types of AI users: those who write prompts, and those who write novels disguised as prompts.

There are two types of AI users: those who say "AI got it wrong," and those who forgot to read the prompt they wrote.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask AI for help, and those who ask AI what they should ask AI.

There are two types of AI users: those who review the code, and those who deploy it.

There are two types of AI users: those who fear AI taking their job, and those who already had AI do their job.

There are two types of AI users: those who generate one image, and those who generate 73 versions of the same image.

There are two types of AI users: those who say "just one more prompt," and those who realize it's 5:10 a.m.

There are two types of AI users: those who use AI for productivity, and those who asked it who would win between a gorilla and 100 men.

There are two types of AI users: those who catch the hallucination, and those who present it in the meeting.

There are two types of AI users: those who save their prompts, and those who spend 20 minutes recreating the good one.

There are two types of AI users: those who use AI to write the email, and those who use AI to summarize the email AI wrote.

There are two types of AI users: those who fact-check the citation, and those about to cite a court case that never existed.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask one question, and those who accidentally start a four-hour conversation.

There are two types of people: those who think prompt engineering is a skill, and those who think it's typing politely.

There are two types of AI users: those who trust AI-generated regex, and those who have been hurt before.

There are two types of AI users: those who say "AI is amazing" and those who say "AI is ruining everything," depending entirely on whether it just worked.

There are two types of AI users: those who write a one-sentence prompt, and those who write three pages and a personality profile.

There are two types of developers: those who vibe-code, and those who debug what they vibe-coded.

There are two types of AI users: those who keep a human in the loop, and those who are the loop now.

There are two types of AI users: those who say "please" and "thank you" to the model, and those who will be remembered fondly.

There are two types of AI users: those who switch models when one refuses, and those who argue with the first one for an hour.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask Claude, ChatGPT, and Gemini the same question, and those who trust the first confident one.

There are two types of AI users: those who read the whole answer, and those who copy the first code block and run.

There are two types of AI users: those who proofread the AI, and those whose customers proofread the AI.

There are two types of AI users: those who generated the logo in five minutes, and those who now have six fingers to explain.

There are two types of AI users: those who think it's sentient, and those who watched it confidently miscount the letters in "strawberry."

There are two types of AI users: those who use AI to learn, and those who use AI to avoid learning, permanently.

There are two types of AI users: those who write tests for the AI's code, and those who let the AI write the tests for the AI's code.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask it to be concise, and those who get five paragraphs that open with "Certainly!"

There are two types of AI users: those who clear the chat, and those with one conversation that now has its own gravity.

There are two types of AI users: those who think it will replace their job, and those who think it will replace their boss's job.

There are two types of AI users: those who upload the document, and those who paste 40,000 words and then apologize.

There are two types of AI users: those who use Cursor and Windsurf, and those still copy-pasting between a browser and an editor like it's 2022.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask the model to double-check itself, and those who believe it the moment it says "I'm certain."

There are two types of AI users: those who use AI to write the cover letter, and the recruiter using AI to read it.

There are two types of AI users: those who roll back the AI's "improvement," and those who already merged it.

There are two types of AI users: those who deleted three pages of prompt and got the same answer, and those still adding pages.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask "are you sure?", and those who watched it change the answer and then change it back.

There are two types of AI users: those who name their custom assistants, and those with eleven that all do the same thing.

There are two types of AI users: those who say "it's just autocomplete," and those who watched it finish a thought they had not finished having yet.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask for a recipe, and those who receive a 1,200-word history of the recipe first.

There are two types of AI users: those who trust the confidence, and those who learned that confidence is free.

There are two types of AI users: those who write "I used AI" at the bottom, and those whose writing already said it.

There are two types of AI users: those who ask it to "make it sound human," and those who can always tell when you did.

There are two types of AI users: those who trust the meeting summary, and those who read it and found an action item nobody agreed to.

There are two types of AI users: those who treat it like a tool, and those who treat it like a coworker they're slightly scared of.

There are two types of AI users: those who turn it off to think, and those who ask it what to think about.

There are two types of AI users: those who blame the model, and those who reread the prompt and went quiet.

There are two types of AI users: those who read this far, and those who asked AI to summarize it.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who drink coffee to enjoy it, and those who drink it to become human.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who order a coffee, and those who order a 14-word beverage with their name spelled wrong.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who say "I've cut down," and those holding their third cup while saying it.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who clean the office pot, and those who left a centimeter to avoid making more.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who talk before coffee, and those who should know better.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who savor the first sip, and those who inhale it before it's safe to drink.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who have one cup, and those who measure the day in cups.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who decaf after noon, and those who have caffeine at 9 p.m. and "sleep fine."

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who make coffee at home, and those funding a barista's vacation one latte at a time.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who bought the fancy espresso machine, and those who use it once a week and feel guilty.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who grind fresh beans, and those whose "coffee" is a spoon of crystals and a lie.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who drink it black, and those whose coffee is technically a dessert.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who set the timer the night before, and those staring at the machine willing it faster.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who switched to tea, and those who tried and came crawling back by Tuesday.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who order the seasonal drink, and those judging them, also in line.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who refill the water tank, and those who pressed brew on an empty machine and gasped.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those with one travel mug, and those with a cabinet of mugs and a favorite they defend.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who say "just a normal coffee," and those who have never once placed a normal coffee order.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who taste notes, and those who taste "hot" and "more, please."

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who quit caffeine for a week, and those we heard about it from every single day.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who finish the cup, and those who reheat the same coffee four times and never drink it.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who know their order, and those "deciding" at a place they go to daily.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who clean the machine monthly, and those whose machine is now a science experiment.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who say "I'm not myself before coffee," and the people who have to wait for that self.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who do pour-over with a scale, and those who eyeball it and live free.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who bring their own cup, and those with a bin full of paper ones and remorse.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who sip the espresso, and those who slam it like a shot and march off.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who make a fresh pot for the office, and those who took the last cup at 8:59.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who like the office coffee, and those with a secret stash in their desk.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who pace themselves, and those who ordered a cold brew the size of a fire hydrant.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who drink it slowly, and those whose cup is empty before they sit down.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who froth the milk, and those who pour it in and accept whatever happens.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who enjoy the cafe, and those there to use the Wi-Fi and one cup for four hours.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who buy beans by the bag, and those on an unsustainable subscription.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who skip coffee on weekends, and those whose Saturday headache disagrees by 10 a.m.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who said "decaf for me" once as a joke, and those who got a stern look.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who time the second cup, and those whose hands stop shaking around noon.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who say "this is my last cup," and those who have said it every day since college.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who like the smell more than the taste, and those who would never admit that out loud.

There are two types of coffee drinkers: those who drink coffee, and those who don't, and we simply do not understand the second kind.

There are two types of developers: those who write tests, and those who will.

There are two types of developers: those who review the pull request, and those who type "LGTM" in four seconds.

There are two types of developers: those who say "it's not a bug, it's a feature," and those who have to document the feature.

There are two types of developers: those who write documentation, and those who are the documentation.

There are two types of developers: those who use a debugger, and those who claim they use a debugger.

There are two types of developers: those who test in production, and those who lie about it.

There are two types of developers: those who name the branch clearly, and those with a branch called final-fix-2-real.

There are two types of developers: those who finish the feature, and those who refactor the whole codebase to avoid finishing the feature.

There are two types of developers: those who blame the framework, and those who wrote the framework and now blame the users.

There are two types of developers: those who said this would take an afternoon, and those reading the postmortem.

There are two types of developers: those who read the stack trace, and those who scroll to the red part and guess.

There are two types of developers: those who understand JavaScript's "this," and liars.

There are two types of developers: those who delete dead code, and those who commented it out "just in case" in 2017.

There are two types of developers: those who write small commits, and those whose one commit is titled "stuff."

There are two types of developers: those who handle the promise rejection, and those whose console is a wall of red.

There are two types of developers: those who estimate two days and ship in two weeks, and that is the same person.

There are two types of developers: those who reproduce the bug, and those who close it "cannot reproduce" and feel wonderful.

There are two types of developers: those who write a comment explaining why, and those who explain what, which we can already see.

There are two types of developers: those who push to a feature branch, and those who push to main and apologize in the channel.

There are two types of developers: those who catch the exception, and those who catch it and swallow it silently like a crime.

There are two types of developers: those who say "quick fix," and those merging it on a Friday at 4:55.

There are two types of developers: those who profile before optimizing, and those who rewrote it in Rust on a hunch.

There are two types of developers: those who write the README, and those who say the code is self-documenting about a function named x.

There are two types of developers: those whose commit history reads like a story, and those whose history is "fix," "fix again," "actually fix."

There are two types of developers: those who validate input, and those who learned about emojis in the database the hard way.

There are two types of developers: those who upgrade the dependency, and those who read the changelog and chose to live in fear.

There are two types of developers: those who add the loading state, and those whose users stare at a frozen screen and wonder.

There are two types of developers: those who name things well, and those with a function called doStuff2.

There are two types of developers: those who handle time zones, and those whose calendar shows the meeting twice.

There are two types of developers: those who keep the build green, and those who say "the test is flaky" with no evidence.

There are two types of developers: those who write the migration carefully, and those who run it on prod to see what happens.

There are two types of developers: those who reach for a library, and those who reinvent it badly and call it learning.

There are two types of developers: those who left at 5, and those who said "let me just fix one thing" at 4:58.

There are two types of developers: those who use feature flags, and those who deploy on Friday and pray.

There are two types of developers: those who narrate the bug to a rubber duck and solve it, and those who book a meeting.

There are two types of developers: those who keep dependencies minimal, and those whose node_modules has its own gravity.

There are two types of developers: those who understand the regex they wrote, and those who wrote it six months ago.

There are two types of developers: those who write the changelog, and those whose users find the breaking change in production.

There are two types of developers: those who close the laptop on a green build, and those who push "one more thing" into the red.

There are two types of developers: those who said "we should rewrite it," and those maintaining the rewrite of the last rewrite.

There are two types of developers: those who write the integration test, and those who found the integration broken from a customer.

There are two types of developers: those who document the workaround, and those who became the workaround.

There are two types of developers: those who use the framework as intended, and those who fought it and lost.

There are two types of developers: those who write the test first, and those who write the test to match the bug.

There are two types of developers: those who fix the root cause, and those who add another if statement on top of the last one.

There are two types of developers: those who ask in the channel, and those who spend three hours not asking in the channel.

There are two types of developers: those who clean up the console.logs before the PR, and those whose logs say "here," "here2," "WHY."

There are two types of developers: those who read the requirements, and those who built the wrong thing beautifully.

There are two types of developers: those who handle the null, and those whose app crashes the instant a real user shows up.

There are two types of developers: those who learned from the outage, and those who scheduled the same deploy for next Friday.

There are two types of Linux users: those who have exited vim, and those still in there since 2019.

There are two types of Linux users: those who run rm -rf carefully, and those who have a great story.

There are two types of Linux users: those who understand file permissions, and those who chmod 777 everything to make it work.

There are two types of Linux users: those who read the script first, and those who curl it straight into sudo bash and trust the internet.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use sudo when needed, and those who sudo everything, including their feelings.

There are two types of Linux users: those who back up before the upgrade, and those now booting to a black screen and a blinking cursor.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use Arch, and those who haven't heard about it yet, because the Arch user is about to tell them.

There are two types of Linux users: those who say "it's a permissions issue," and those who are correct.

There are two types of Linux users: those who reboot rarely, and those whose uptime is a personality trait.

There are two types of Linux users: those who finally exited vim, and those who closed the whole terminal to escape.

There are two types of Linux users: those who read the man page, and those who add --force until it works.

There are two types of Linux users: those who recompiled the kernel for fun, and those who have a life, allegedly.

There are two types of Linux users: those who chmod 600 the key, and those who met "UNPROTECTED PRIVATE KEY FILE" and learned.

There are two types of Linux users: those who edited /etc/fstab carefully, and those who can no longer boot.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use the package manager, and those who built it from source and now own the consequences.

There are two types of Linux users: those who set up the firewall, and those who locked themselves out of the box over SSH.

There are two types of Linux users: those who name machines sensibly, and those whose laptop is "skywalker" and whose server is "deathstar."

There are two types of Linux users: those who use tmux, and those who lost a long job when the SSH session dropped.

There are two types of Linux users: those who check df before installing, and those who filled the disk and crashed the box.

There are two types of Linux users: those who write a tidy bash script, and those with a 600-line file called final.sh.

There are two types of Linux users: those who run apt update first, and those debugging a dependency from 2021.

There are two types of Linux users: those who grep what they need, and those scrolling 90,000 log lines by hand.

There are two types of Linux users: those who alias their long commands, and those retyping a 40-character command for the ninth time.

There are two types of Linux users: those who set a swap file, and those whose process got OOM-killed at the worst moment.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use SSH keys, and those typing the password fifty times a day.

There are two types of Linux users: those who mount the drive carefully, and those who wrote the image to the wrong /dev/sd and went pale.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use systemctl, and those who still type service and feel young.

There are two types of Linux users: those who set PATH correctly, and those getting "command not found" for a thing they just installed.

There are two types of Linux users: those who know what kill -9 does, and those who use it on everything like a hammer.

There are two types of Linux users: those who read the wiki, and those who asked in the forum and got told to read the wiki.

There are two types of Linux users: those who keep /home on a separate partition, and those who reinstalled and lost everything.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use cron correctly, and those whose job runs every minute and they don't know why.

There are two types of Linux users: those who check which shell they're in, and those whose script works in bash and explodes in sh.

There are two types of Linux users: those who configured the printer once, and those who gave up and emailed it to themselves.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use a config manager, and those who SSH into 40 boxes one at a time.

There are two types of Linux users: those who say "the documentation is excellent," and those reading the source to learn what it does.

There are two types of Linux users: those who set NOPASSWD carefully, and those who gave the deploy user the keys to the kingdom.

There are two types of Linux users: those who test in a VM, and those who tested on the only machine they own.

There are two types of Linux users: those who know the difference between > and >>, and those who just overwrote the file.

There are two types of Linux users: those who fix the root cause, and those who reboot it because it worked last time.

There are two types of Linux users: those who pin the kernel, and those whose Wi-Fi driver died after the update.

There are two types of Linux users: those who use ssh-agent, and those typing the passphrase into the void all day.

There are two types of Linux users: those who quit nano easily, and those who feel judged for using nano.

There are two types of Linux users: those who run htop and frown thoughtfully, and those who kill the 100% process and hope.

There are two types of Linux users: those who distro-hop calmly, and those on their fourth fresh install this month.

There are two types of Linux users: those who write the systemd unit, and those running the daemon in a screen session like a secret.

There are two types of Linux users: those who insist there is no GUI on this machine, and those who never asked.

There are two types of Linux users: those who say "RTFM" kindly, and those who say it the other way.

There are two types of Linux users: those who say "it just works," and those who spent the weekend making it just work.

There are two types of Linux users: those who solved it, and those who reinstalled the whole distro to avoid solving it.

There are two types of married people: those who are always cold, and those personally offended by the thermostat.

There are two types of married people: those who hold the TV remote, and those who have not chosen a show since 2015.

There are two types of married people: those who say "I'm not mad," and those who know they absolutely are.

There are two types of married people: those who pack three days early, and those packing while the other one idles the car.

There are two types of married people: those who say "I'll just be five minutes," and those who have aged visibly in the entryway.

There are two types of married people: those who load the dishwasher correctly, and those who are wrong, according to the first.

There are two types of married people: those who start the home project, and those who finish it eight months later, also them.

There are two types of married people: those who say "anywhere is fine," and those who then veto everywhere.

There are two types of married people: those who drive, and those who brake from the passenger seat.

There are two types of married people: those who remember the anniversary, and those grateful to be married to the first kind.

There are two types of married people: those who fold the laundry immediately, and those whose clean clothes live in the basket for a week.

There are two types of married people: those who say "we should leave by 9," and those who hear "leave by 9:45."

There are two types of married people: those who make the grocery list, and those who add nine things to the cart that were not on it.

There are two types of married people: those who text back instantly, and those who read it, compose a reply, and never send it.

There are two types of married people: those who plan the holidays in October, and those who agree to whatever in December.

There are two types of married people: those who close the cabinet doors, and those who leave the kitchen looking startled.

There are two types of married people: those who read the assembly instructions, and those holding three leftover screws and confidence.

There are two types of married people: those who keep the gas tank above a quarter, and those living dangerously near E.

There are two types of married people: those who say "turn here," exactly when it is too late to turn.

There are two types of married people: those who throw things out, and those who said "I was keeping that" about a cable to nothing.

There are two types of married people: those who say "we'll talk about it later," and those who know later means never.

There are two types of married people: those who pre-rinse the dishes, and those who think that is what the dishwasher is for.

There are two types of married people: those who text "on my way," and those who texted that twenty minutes before leaving.

There are two types of married people: those who keep the closet organized, and those whose side is an avalanche risk.

There are two types of married people: those who handle the bills, and those pleasantly unaware that bills exist.

There are two types of married people: those who like the window cracked, and those who file a formal complaint about it.

There are two types of married people: those who say "let's get an early night," and those still talking at 1 a.m.

There are two types of married people: those who keep the snacks stocked, and those who ate the snack the other was saving.

There are two types of married people: those who plan, and those who say "it'll be fine," and somehow it is, which is infuriating.

There are two types of married people: those who remember where they put it, and those asking the first one where they put it.

There are two types of married people: those who say "I told you," and those who survived being told.

There are two types of married people: those who say "I'm ready," and those who then remember three things they have to do first.

There are two types of married people: those who do laundry on a schedule, and those who found the towels still in the washer from Tuesday.

There are two types of married people: those who like the bedroom at 68, and those wrapped in a blanket plotting revenge.

There are two types of married people: those who say "I'll start dinner," and those who started a 90-minute recipe at 8 p.m.

There are two types of married people: those who keep gift ideas all year, and those buying flowers at the gas station tonight.

There are two types of married people: those who pack light, and those whose "just in case" suitcase needs its own ticket.

There are two types of married people: those who say "we agreed," and those with no memory of agreeing.

There are two types of married people: those who turn off the lights, and those who light the whole house like a stadium.

There are two types of married people: those who say "let's not get each other anything this year," and those who are testing you.

There are two types of married people: those who tell the story, and those who interrupt with "no, it was Tuesday" every single time.

There are two types of married people: those who say "did you hear me?", and those who did not.

There are two types of married people: those who pick the movie, and those who fall asleep in the first fifteen minutes of it.

There are two types of married people: those who keep the fridge tidy, and those who let the leftovers reach sentience.

There are two types of married people: those who say "we should save," and those with a new gadget already in the cart.

There are two types of married people: those who answer the in-law group chat, and those leaving it on read for both of them.

There are two types of married people: those who plan the itinerary, and those just happy to be invited.

There are two types of married people: those who say "five more minutes" about leaving the party, and those already in the car.

There are two types of married people: those who keep the receipts, and those who said "it was on sale" about a thing nobody needed.

There are two types of married people: those who say "we don't need a list," and those back at the store for the fourth time today.

There are two types of people in a meeting: those who could have sent an email, and those who did, and scheduled the meeting anyway.

There are two types of office workers: those who say "per my last email," and those who deserve it.

There are two types of office workers: those who mute on the call, and those breathing directly into thirty headsets.

There are two types of office workers: those who reply-all by mistake, and those who reply-all to ask everyone to stop replying all.

There are two types of office workers: those who say "let's circle back," and those who never, ever circle back.

There are two types of office workers: those who join on time, and those asking "can everyone see my screen?" for four minutes.

There are two types of office workers: those who end the meeting early, and those who say "while I have you all" at minute 59.

There are two types of office workers: those who set a realistic deadline, and those who said "EOD" at 4:45.

There are two types of office workers: those who take notes, and those who ask "what were the action items?" the second it ends.

There are two types of office workers: those who say "quick question," and those whose quick question is a 25-minute saga.

There are two types of office workers: those who read the whole email, and those who replied to line one and missed the deadline in line three.

There are two types of office workers: those who put it on the calendar, and those who say "I didn't see the invite."

There are two types of office workers: those who use Slack threads, and those who send eleven separate messages, one word each.

There are two types of office workers: those who book a room, and those holding a meeting in the hallway you have to walk through.

There are two types of office workers: those who decline the optional meeting, and those who attend it resentfully.

There are two types of office workers: those who refill the coffee pot, and those who left a thimble of coffee to avoid making more.

There are two types of office workers: those who hit the deadline, and those who discover the deadline the day after.

There are two types of office workers: those who reply "thanks!", and those who reply "thanks!" to "thanks!" forever.

There are two types of office workers: those who put an agenda in the invite, and those whose meeting is a mystery box.

There are two types of office workers: those who schedule across time zones carefully, and those who booked it for someone's 5 a.m.

There are two types of office workers: those who finished the project, and those still "syncing" about it.

There are two types of office workers: those who use the shared drive, and those who emailed "final_v3_REAL_final.docx."

There are two types of office workers: those who say "let's take this offline," and those who never take it offline.

There are two types of office workers: those who did the mandatory training, and those clicking Next without reading since 2014.

There are two types of office workers: those who block focus time, and those whose calendar is one solid block of meetings.

There are two types of office workers: those who keep the meeting to 30 minutes, and those who booked an hour and will use every second.

There are two types of office workers: those who unmute to speak, and those who talk for a minute on mute and start over, defeated.

There are two types of office workers: those who CC the manager strategically, and those who BCC HR and mean it.

There are two types of office workers: those who clear the inbox daily, and those with 19,000 unread and a clear conscience.

There are two types of office workers: those who use Zoom, and those who use Teams, and they will never agree which is worse.

There are two types of office workers: those who set OOO and disconnect, and those answering email from the beach and ruining it for everyone.

There are two types of office workers: those who say "no worries if not," and those who very much have worries.

There are two types of office workers: those who keep standup to standing-up length, and those who turned it into therapy.

There are two types of office workers: those who finished the slide deck, and those building it live during the presentation.

There are two types of office workers: those who book the 1:1, and those who skip it and call it "giving you autonomy."

There are two types of office workers: those who say "ping me," and those who got pinged at 11 p.m. and regret the offer.

There are two types of office workers: those who use the meeting chat for notes, and those posting "good morning everyone" gifs.

There are two types of office workers: those who respect "we're at time," and those who say "I know we're at time, but..."

There are two types of office workers: those who read the room, and those who scheduled "fun" team-building for Friday at 5.

There are two types of office workers: those who say "happy to help," and those who are not.

There are two types of office workers: those who leave when the meeting ends, and those who stay on to "debrief the meeting."

There are two types of office workers: those who answer within the hour, and those whose autoresponder says "twice a day" and means twice a week.

There are two types of office workers: those who say "great question," and those stalling for the answer.

There are two types of office workers: those who escalate calmly, and those who added "URGENT" to a subject line about snacks.

There are two types of office workers: those who finish the agenda, and those who already booked the follow-up to finish the agenda.

There are two types of parents: those who said "we'll keep them on a schedule," and those now bargaining with a four-year-old at midnight.

There are two types of parents: those who limit screen time, and those who handed over the tablet to finish one phone call in peace.

There are two types of parents: those who keep toys organized, and those who have stepped on a Lego and seen the face of God.

There are two types of parents: those who packed the bag the night before, and those sprinting back inside for the forgotten shoe.

There are two types of parents: those who do the homework with them, and those doing the homework for them at 9 p.m.

There are two types of parents: those who say "one more book," and those who fell asleep first.

There are two types of parents: those who get to school on time, and those who count "we're not technically late" as a win.

There are two types of parents: those who hid the good snacks, and those whose kids found them in twelve seconds.

There are two types of parents: those who did the science project early, and those buying a poster board at 8 p.m.

There are two types of parents: those who say "they grow up so fast," and those in the middle of the longest Tuesday of their life.

There are two types of parents: those who keep their cool, and those negotiating a peace treaty over the wrong-color cup.

There are two types of parents: those who read the school newsletter, and those who learned about pajama day from a crying child.

There are two types of parents: those who say "five more minutes," and those who have said "five more minutes" for an hour.

There are two types of parents: those who label everything, and those whose kid came home in someone else's entire wardrobe.

There are two types of parents: those who make the lunch, and those whose kid "forgot" the lunch they made.

There are two types of parents: those who do bath time efficiently, and those mopping the entire bathroom afterward.

There are two types of parents: those who answer "why" patiently, and those who reached "because I said so" by question forty.

There are two types of parents: those whose toddler stays in bed, and those visited at 3 a.m. by a tiny ghost.

There are two types of parents: those who pack healthy snacks, and those whose diaper bag is just fruit snacks and hope.

There are two types of parents: those who survived the threenager, and those about to meet them.

There are two types of parents: those with a teenager who talks, and those getting full sentences only about the Wi-Fi.

There are two types of parents: those who say "no phones at the table," and those who are also on their phone.

There are two types of parents: those who get the kids to sleep, and those who then step on the one creaky floorboard.

There are two types of parents: those who keep a calendar, and those who missed picture day two years running.

There are two types of parents: those whose kid eats vegetables, and those who hid the vegetables and got found out.

There are two types of parents: those who potty-trained calmly, and those who have cleaned a car seat they would rather forget.

There are two types of parents: those who say "share with your brother," and those refereeing a summit over one toy.

There are two types of parents: those who do the reading log nightly, and those signing a week of it on Sunday.

There are two types of parents: those whose teen does chores, and those whose teen's room is now a registered ecosystem.

There are two types of parents: those who planned the birthday party, and those who realized the party is tomorrow.

There are two types of parents: those who answer the 6 a.m. wake-up cheerfully, and those who are, spiritually, deceased.

There are two types of parents: those who limit sugar before bed, and those who learned the hard way at a sleepover.

There are two types of parents: those whose kid sleeps in their own bed, and those sleeping sideways with a foot in their ribs.

There are two types of parents: those who say "use your words," and those whose kid used all of them, loudly, in a quiet store.

There are two types of parents: those who packed extra clothes, and those whose kid is now in a gift-shop T-shirt three sizes wrong.

There are two types of parents: those who get a "thank you," and those who get "you're the worst" for cutting the sandwich wrong.

There are two types of parents: those who enforce bedtime, and those whose 7 p.m. became a snack, then water, then a sudden fear of sharks.

There are two types of parents: those who keep one pacifier tracked, and those who own seventeen and can locate zero.

There are two types of parents: those who say "we don't do that in this house," and those too tired to enforce it.

There are two types of parents: those who took the cute photo, and those with 400 blurry shots and one where everyone's eyes are closed.

There are two types of regex users: those who had a problem and used regex, and those who now have two problems.

There are two types of regex users: those who understand the regex they wrote, and those who wrote it six months ago.

There are two types of regex users: those who escaped the dot, and those matching every character and wondering why.

There are two types of regex users: those who use non-greedy matching, and those whose pattern ate the entire document.

There are two types of regex users: those who tested the regex, and those who shipped it and broke every email with a plus sign.

There are two types of regex users: those who parse HTML with a parser, and those who tried it with regex and summoned something.

There are two types of regex users: those who write a readable regex, and those who wrote 200 characters of line noise and called it done.

There are two types of regex users: those who comment their regex, and those who left a curse for future-you.

There are two types of regex users: those who anchor with ^ and $, and those matching in the middle of words by accident.

There are two types of regex users: those who finally got the regex working, and those who refuse to touch it ever again.

There are two types of regex users: those who write the regex, and those who copy it from Stack Overflow and pray.

There are two types of regex users: those who validate email with a simple pattern, and those who found the 6,000-character "correct" one and lost it.

There are two types of regex users: those who use a regex tester, and those debugging in production with real user data.

There are two types of regex users: those who use named groups, and those counting parentheses out loud.

There are two types of regex users: those who reached for regex, and those who realized a split would have done it.

There are two types of regex users: those who learned lookaheads, and those who pretend lookaheads do not exist.

There are two types of regex users: those who escaped the backslash, and those staring at four of them wondering how many they need.

There are two types of regex users: those who use word boundaries, and those matching "cat" inside "category" forever.

There are two types of regex users: those who know the difference between a digit class and \d, and those who used both in one pattern.

There are two types of regex users: those who set the right flags, and those wondering why it only matches the first line.

There are two types of regex users: those who break the regex into pieces, and those with one expression you can see from space.

There are two types of regex users: those who handle Unicode, and those whose pattern works until someone types an accent.

There are two types of regex users: those who reuse a tested pattern, and those who rewrite it slightly worse every time.

There are two types of regex users: those who guarded against catastrophic backtracking, and those who took the server down with one input.

There are two types of regex users: those who say "I'll just use regex," and those who said that yesterday.

There are two types of regex users: those who read the regex docs, and those guessing at syntax until something matches.

There are two types of regex users: those who match phone numbers loosely, and those building one pattern for all 200 countries at once.

There are two types of regex users: those who quoted the special characters, and those whose dot matched the whole input.

There are two types of regex users: those who test against the data, and those who tested against their hopes.

There are two types of regex users: those who keep the regex simple, and those who added a third lookbehind at 1 a.m.

There are two types of regex users: those who explain the pattern in a comment, and those who wrote "good luck."

There are two types of regex users: those who use a library for dates, and those parsing dates with regex and crying.

There are two types of regex users: those who escaped the slash in the URL pattern, and those whose regex ended early at the first one.

There are two types of regex users: those who use a whitespace class, and those who typed a literal space and missed all the tabs.

There are two types of regex users: those who write a test for the regex, and those who will find out from the support ticket.

There are two types of regex users: those who learned regex once, and those who relearn it every single time.

There are two types of regex users: those who can read a regex aloud, and those who go quiet and squint.

There are two types of regex users: those who know flavors differ, and those whose pattern works in JavaScript and dies in grep.

There are two types of regex users: those who tested the edge cases, and those whose regex works on the one example they had.

There are two types of regex users: those who matched what they meant, and those who matched everything and called it a feature.

There are two types of remote workers: those with a dedicated office, and those whose desk is the kitchen table and a deep sense of guilt.

There are two types of remote workers: those who turn the camera on, and those "having connection issues" in pajama pants.

There are two types of remote workers: those who say "you're on mute" sparingly, and those who say it forty times a day.

There are two types of remote workers: those whose pet stays quiet, and those whose cat has joined three meetings as a panelist.

There are two types of remote workers: those who close the laptop at 5, and those who "just check one thing" and resurface at 8.

There are two types of remote workers: those who take a real lunch, and those eating over the keyboard during a call.

There are two types of remote workers: those who get dressed, and those whose top half is business and bottom half is a crime.

There are two types of remote workers: those who work from a desk, and those who work from bed and call it ergonomic.

There are two types of remote workers: those who set boundaries, and those answering Slack at 9 p.m. because the laptop is right there.

There are two types of remote workers: those who say "let's hop on a call," and those who could have just typed it.

There are two types of remote workers: those with a tidy background, and those with a virtual beach hiding a laundry mountain.

There are two types of remote workers: those who test the mic, and those whose first three minutes are "can you hear me now?"

There are two types of remote workers: those who go for a walk, and those whose only steps are fridge-related.

There are two types of remote workers: those who set a status, and those who vanish for two hours and call it "deep work."

There are two types of remote workers: those who keep work in one room, and those whose entire home is now the office.

There are two types of remote workers: those who join with video, and those keeping a flattering photo up and praying.

There are two types of remote workers: those who stretch, and those whose posture is now a question mark.

There are two types of remote workers: those who mute to cough, and those who shared a sneeze with the whole department.

There are two types of remote workers: those who have a commute ritual, and those who rolled from bed to desk in nine seconds.

There are two types of remote workers: those who keep cameras on for standup, and those who are "definitely listening."

There are two types of remote workers: those who use headphones, and those whose family heard the entire quarterly review.

There are two types of remote workers: those who log off for the weekend, and those whose Saturday has a "quick" Slack thread.

There are two types of remote workers: those who plan the day, and those who realize at 4 p.m. they never changed out of yesterday.

There are two types of remote workers: those whose kid stays away during calls, and those who introduced a toddler to the board.

There are two types of remote workers: those with good lighting, and those who appear as a silhouette in witness protection.

There are two types of remote workers: those who batch their meetings, and those context-switching every fifteen minutes into dust.

There are two types of remote workers: those who use a second monitor, and those squinting at a 13-inch screen since 2020.

There are two types of remote workers: those who close Slack to focus, and those who twitch when the badge turns red.

There are two types of remote workers: those who keep a routine, and those for whom Tuesday and Saturday are now the same day.

There are two types of remote workers: those who muted the dog, and those whose delivery arrived, loudly, mid-presentation.

There are two types of remote workers: those who turn off notifications at night, and those who heard a Slack ding in a dream.

There are two types of remote workers: those who ate a reasonable lunch, and those who ate "lunch" at 10:30 three days running.

There are two types of remote workers: those who took the home-office deduction, and those still calling the couch a standing desk.

There are two types of remote workers: those who say "let's keep this async," and those who booked a call to discuss keeping it async.

There are two types of remote workers: those who signed off cleanly, and those whose "see you tomorrow" was followed by three more messages.

There are two types of SEOs: those who wait for the data, and those who panic at a one-day dip.

There are two types of SEOs: those who read the update notes, and those refreshing Twitter at 3:30 a.m. during a core update.

There are two types of SEOs: those who earn the links, and those who bought 5,000 backlinks from a guy named Steve.

There are two types of SEOs: those who say "it depends," and those who haven't been doing this long enough yet.

There are two types of SEOs: those who fixed Core Web Vitals, and those who say "the site feels fast to me."

There are two types of SEOs: those who write for humans, and those who wrote "best best plumber near me cheap" for a robot.

There are two types of SEOs: those who report cautiously, and those who promised the client page one in 30 days.

There are two types of SEOs: those who ranked #1 for something people search, and those who ranked #1 for a word nobody types.

There are two types of SEOs: those who set up redirects on the migration, and those who 404'd their top ten pages.

There are two types of SEOs: those who measure, and those who have a gut feeling and a screenshot.

There are two types of SEOs: those who use Search Console, and those guessing why traffic dropped.

There are two types of SEOs: those who disavow the spammy links, and those who built them.

There are two types of SEOs: those who do keyword research, and those targeting a keyword with 12 million competing pages and great optimism.

There are two types of SEOs: those who write the meta description, and those who let Google write it and then complain about it.

There are two types of SEOs: those who say "content is king," and those who say it on a site that hasn't published since 2021.

There are two types of SEOs: those who wait out the core update, and those who rewrote the whole site by day three.

There are two types of SEOs: those who check robots.txt, and those who noindexed the whole site and wondered for a week.

There are two types of SEOs: those who use canonical tags correctly, and those pointing every page at the homepage.

There are two types of SEOs: those who optimize for intent, and those who wrote 3,000 words when the answer was "yes."

There are two types of SEOs: those who edit the AI draft, and those whose blog now opens every post with "In today's digital landscape."

There are two types of SEOs: those who earned the featured snippet, and those who lost it to a Reddit comment from 2014.

There are two types of SEOs: those who audit the site, and those with a 400-tab crawl open and a headache.

There are two types of SEOs: those who fixed the duplicate content, and those running four URLs for one page.

There are two types of SEOs: those who say "it takes time," and those who have to say it again next month.

There are two types of SEOs: those who watch the SERP features, and those wondering why their #1 ranking gets no clicks.

There are two types of SEOs: those who interlink their content, and those with 400 orphan pages and a sitemap.

There are two types of SEOs: those who track conversions, and those celebrating traffic from a country they don't sell in.

There are two types of SEOs: those who read the documentation, and those who read a LinkedIn post about the documentation.

There are two types of SEOs: those who build topical authority, and those with one viral post about an unrelated cat.

There are two types of SEOs: those who optimized for AI Overviews, and those who got cited and lost the click anyway.

There are two types of SEOs: those whose analytics is set up right, and those whose bounce rate is "great" because the tag fires twice.

There are two types of SEOs: those who say "don't keyword stuff," and those whose H1 contains the keyword four times.

There are two types of SEOs: those who wait for indexing, and those resubmitting the URL hourly in Search Console.

There are two types of SEOs: those who handle the penalty calmly, and those who emailed Google and got the autoresponder.

There are two types of SEOs: those who diversify their traffic, and those whose entire business is one update away.

There are two types of SEOs: those who test the title tag, and those whose title gets rewritten by Google every single time.

There are two types of SEOs: those who learned from the last update, and those who built the same thin pages again.

There are two types of SEOs: those who say "we should blog more," and those maintaining 900 posts that rank for nothing.

There are two types of SEOs: those who own their channels, and those who found out what "deindexed" feels like.

There are two types of SEOs: those who can explain the result, and those who say "the algorithm did it" and look away.

There are two types of sports parents: those who cheer, and those coaching from the sideline louder than the actual coach.

There are two types of sports parents: those who bring the orange slices, and those who forgot it was their snack week again.

There are two types of sports parents: those who respect the ref, and those with loud opinions about a volunteer.

There are two types of sports parents: those who say "just have fun out there," and those tracking their eight-year-old's stats.

There are two types of sports parents: those who arrive on time, and those sprinting in with one cleat as the whistle blows.

There are two types of sports parents: those who relax at the tournament, and those who booked a hotel for a sport their child started in March.

There are two types of sports parents: those who mute the team group chat, and those who have read 412 messages about the jersey order.

There are two types of sports parents: those who let the coach coach, and those running a parallel practice from the fence.

There are two types of sports parents: those who say "good game," and those who replay the missed goal in the car for forty minutes.

There are two types of sports parents: those who clap for both teams, and those who appealed a call at a recreational under-9 game.

There are two types of sports parents: those who carpool reliably, and those whose "I'll grab them" became your problem at 5 p.m.

There are two types of sports parents: those who packed water, and those whose kid is sharing a warm bottle with the bench.

There are two types of sports parents: those who know the schedule, and those who drove to the wrong field with great commitment.

There are two types of sports parents: those who pre-ordered the team photo, and those who missed the form and are now improvising.

There are two types of sports parents: those who bring a folding chair, and those standing the whole tournament out of pure tension.

There are two types of sports parents: those who packed snacks for one game, and those feeding the entire roster from a bottomless cooler.

There are two types of sports parents: those who check the weather, and those who learned it was canceled while sitting in the rain.

There are two types of sports parents: those who answer the group chat, and those who "thumbs up" a question that needed a real reply.

There are two types of sports parents: those who clap politely, and those who have been kindly asked by a referee to sit down.

There are two types of sports parents: those who keep the cleats organized, and those buying new ones in the parking lot, half a size too big.

There are two types of sports parents: those who say "win or lose, we're proud," and those who negotiated the lineup over text.

There are two types of sports parents: those who volunteer once, and those who somehow became manager, treasurer, and snack coordinator.

There are two types of sports parents: those who film one highlight, and those filming the whole game vertically with commentary.

There are two types of sports parents: those who packed the right uniform, and those whose kid is the only one in last season's jersey.

There are two types of sports parents: those who plan the weekend around one game, and those with three kids, three sports, and a spreadsheet.

There are two types of sports parents: those who say "it's just a game," and those who said it through clenched teeth.

There are two types of sports parents: those who know the other parents' names, and those who know them only as "number 7's dad."

There are two types of sports parents: those who leave when it's over, and those debriefing the game in the parking lot at dusk.

There are two types of sports parents: those who arrive caffeinated, and those who are the reason the carpool is late.

There are two types of sports parents: those who say "I'm not a sports parent," and those holding a cowbell at a Saturday under-7 match.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who test their backups, and those who have backups.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who say "it's not DNS," and those who were wrong.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who documented the fix, and those who are the fix.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who get the alert, and those who get the alert from the CEO.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who set the cert to auto-renew, and those who find out during the demo.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who close the ticket, and those who reopen it with "still happening."

There are two types of sysadmins: those who automate the task, and those who have done it by hand 400 times.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who said "it should be a five-minute change," and those who got to go home.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who test the restore, and those who learned at restore time that the backup was empty.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who monitor the monitoring, and those whose monitoring was down for a week.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who read the change request, and those who approved the title of it.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who label the cables, and those who follow a cable by tugging gently and praying.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who reset the user's password, and those who reset it again twenty minutes later.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who write the runbook, and those whose runbook is on the server that's down.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who use a jump box, and those who exposed SSH to the whole internet and named it temp.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who rotate credentials, and those whose root password lives in a file called passwords.txt.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who planned the maintenance window, and those who became the maintenance window.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who check disk space, and those paged at 3 a.m. because /var was full.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who read the man page, and those who run it with --force and find out.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who say "the VPN is fine," and those connecting to the VPN to check the VPN.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who tag servers clearly, and those maintaining server, server2, and newserver-old.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who reboot it, and those who first ask "when did it last reboot?" and go quiet.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who follow least privilege, and those who gave everyone admin to close the ticket.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who tested the failover, and those whose failover failed over to nothing.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who deprovision the leaver, and those whose ex-coworker still has prod access from 2019.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who answer the ticket, and those who reply "works as designed" and feel nothing.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who keep firmware updated, and those who won't touch it because it's finally working.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who enforce MFA, and those who will, right after this one incident.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who keep spares on the shelf, and those driving to the data center on a Sunday.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who renew the domain, and those who learned it expired from the customers.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who closed the port, and those who left 8080 open "temporarily" in 2020.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who whitelist the one IP, and those who whitelisted 0.0.0.0/0 and went home.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who script the onboarding, and those who clicked nineteen checkboxes by hand for the new hire.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who write the postmortem blameless, and those who name the intern.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who read logs proactively, and those who grep them frantically at 3 a.m.

There are two types of sysadmins: those calm during the outage, and those calm because they already updated their resume.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who scheduled the reboot, and those whose "quick reboot" did not come back.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who say "I'll just SSH in real quick," and those locked out by their own firewall rule.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who answer the on-call phone, and those who routed it to the backup who quit last month.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who patch on schedule, and those who patch during the incident.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who trust the documentation, and those who trust it right up until the demo.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who set the split tunnel, and those routing the whole company's Netflix through the office.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who fixed it so fast nobody believes there was an incident, and those still writing the report.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who say "low priority," and those who watched low priority become the only priority.

There are two types of sysadmins: those who left at the end of the shift, and those whose shift left without them.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

There are two types of techies: those who back up their data, and those who haven't lost it yet.

There are two types of techies: those who write the regex, and those who now have two problems.

There are two types of techies: those who understand DNS, and those who haven't been bitten by it yet. (It was DNS.)

There are two types of techies: those who say "it works on my machine," and those who have to deploy it.

There are two types of techies: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

There are two types of techies: those who git commit often, and those who lost three days of work on Tuesday.

There are two types of techies: those who read the error message, and those who paste it into the search bar like it owes them money.

There are two types of techies: those who name variables clearly, and those who ship x, xx, and xx_final.

There are two types of techies: those who trust AI-generated regex, and those who have been hurt before.

There are two types of techies: those who understand recursion, and those who don't. To understand recursion, re-read the people who understand recursion.

There are two types of techies: those who pin their dependency versions, and those who enjoy surprises.

There are two types of techies: those who test in staging, and those whose users are the staging.

There are two types of techies: those who comment their code, and those who write "// do not touch this" and walk away forever.

There are two types of techies: those who escape user input, and those who have met little Bobby Tables.

There are two types of techies: those who write unit tests, and those who pray.

There are two types of techies: those who say "the cloud is just someone else's computer," and those paying the bill for it.

There are two types of techies: those who set up monitoring, and those who learn about the outage from Twitter.

There are two types of techies: those who use tabs and those who use spaces, and there is no third type because they are no longer speaking.

There are two types of techies: those who reboot the router, and those who blame the ISP for two hours first.

There are two types of techies: those who read the API docs, and those who guess the endpoint until it returns 200.

There are two types of techies: those who normalize the database, and those who have a column named data2.

There are two types of techies: those who run git push --force, and those who still have a job.

There are two types of techies: those who say "it's a quick fix," and those who have heard that before.

There are two types of techies: those who clear the cache first, and those who debug for an hour first.

There are two types of techies: those who understand the off-by-one error, and those who understand the off-by-two error.

There are two types of techies: those who label the production server clearly, and those about to find out why you should.

There are two types of techies: those who use semantic versioning, and those who jumped from 1.0 to 4.7 because it felt right.

There are two types of techies: those who turn Wi-Fi off and on again, and those who were right to.

There are two types of techies: those who finish the sprint, and those who move it to the next sprint with total confidence.

There are two types of techies: those who read AI-generated code, and those who deployed it.

There are two types of techies: those who think it's a hardware problem, and the hardware team, who knows it's yours.

There are two types of techies: those who use a password manager, and those whose password is the dog's name and a 1.

There are two types of techies: those who write detailed commit messages, and those whose entire history says "fix."

There are two types of techies: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who did not expect a third option in a binary joke.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who use a staging site, and those who edit live and hold their breath.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who back up before updating, and those about to learn why you do.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who love Gutenberg, and those who installed the Classic Editor in the first five minutes.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who install one plugin for a feature, and those with 53 plugins and a white screen.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who use a child theme, and those whose customizations vanished with the last update.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who clear the cache, and those filing a bug for a change that already shipped.

There are two types of WordPress developers: those who use WP-CLI, and those clicking through 4,000 posts one at a time.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who deactivate a plugin to debug, and those who deactivated the one keeping the site up.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who hit update on one plugin, and those who hit "update all" and find out.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who say "it's just a small WordPress site," and those now running an enterprise platform by accident.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who read the plugin reviews, and those who installed "Ultimate Mega Super Plugin (Free)."

There are two types of WordPress users: those who use ACF, and those rebuilding ACF badly by hand.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who set up automatic backups, and those who say "the host probably has one."

There are two types of WordPress users: those who limit login attempts, and those whose admin username is admin.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who keep WooCommerce updated, and those whose checkout broke quietly on Friday.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who open a page-builder site and shrug, and those who open it in the editor and weep.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who manage multisite calmly, and those who updated one plugin and broke nine sites.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who changed the permalinks once, and those who changed them and 404'd the whole site.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who run one caching plugin, and those with three caching plugins fighting each other.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who test a theme switch on staging, and those who switched themes on Black Friday.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who know what wp-config.php does, and those who edited it and met the blank page.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who disabled file editing in the admin, and those who pasted code from a blog into Appearance, Editor.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who use a real SMTP plugin, and those whose contact form has emailed nobody for a year.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who optimize the images, and those whose homepage is 14 megabytes of hero photo.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who installed a security plugin, and those who became a crypto-mining host overnight.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who keep PHP updated, and those running PHP 5.6 because "it still works."

There are two types of WordPress users: those who read "are you sure you want to delete this," and those who deleted the page.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who use revisions, and those who overwrote the good draft and have no memory of it.

There are two types of WordPress developers: those who enqueue scripts properly, and those who pasted a script tag into the header and prayed.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who vet the "lightweight" plugin, and those whose lightweight plugin added 30 queries per page.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who set up a CDN, and those whose site is fast only for them, in the same city, on fiber.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who flip on maintenance mode, and those who edited the live homepage at noon.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who document the custom fields, and those reverse-engineering ACF from a site they built two years ago.

There are two types of WordPress users: those who read the update notes, and those who say "surely this minor update is safe."

There are two types of WordPress users: those who tested the form, and those whose client tested the form for them, loudly.