There Are Two Types of Parents: 40 Jokes Every Mom and Dad Knows

There are two types of parents: those who said "we'll keep them on a schedule," and those now bargaining with a four-year-old at midnight.

There are two types of parents: those who limit screen time, and those who handed over the tablet to finish one phone call in peace.

There are two types of parents: those who keep toys organized, and those who have stepped on a Lego and seen the face of God.

There are two types of parents: those who packed the bag the night before, and those sprinting back inside for the forgotten shoe.

There are two types of parents: those who do the homework with them, and those doing the homework for them at 9 p.m.

There are two types of parents: those who say "one more book," and those who fell asleep first.

There are two types of parents: those who get to school on time, and those who count "we're not technically late" as a win.

There are two types of parents: those who hid the good snacks, and those whose kids found them in twelve seconds.

There are two types of parents: those who did the science project early, and those buying a poster board at 8 p.m.

There are two types of parents: those who say "they grow up so fast," and those in the middle of the longest Tuesday of their life.

There are two types of parents: those who keep their cool, and those negotiating a peace treaty over the wrong-color cup.

There are two types of parents: those who read the school newsletter, and those who learned about pajama day from a crying child.

There are two types of parents: those who say "five more minutes," and those who have said "five more minutes" for an hour.

There are two types of parents: those who label everything, and those whose kid came home in someone else's entire wardrobe.

There are two types of parents: those who make the lunch, and those whose kid "forgot" the lunch they made.

There are two types of parents: those who do bath time efficiently, and those mopping the entire bathroom afterward.

There are two types of parents: those who answer "why" patiently, and those who reached "because I said so" by question forty.

There are two types of parents: those whose toddler stays in bed, and those visited at 3 a.m. by a tiny ghost.

There are two types of parents: those who pack healthy snacks, and those whose diaper bag is just fruit snacks and hope.

There are two types of parents: those who survived the threenager, and those about to meet them.

There are two types of parents: those with a teenager who talks, and those getting full sentences only about the Wi-Fi.

There are two types of parents: those who say "no phones at the table," and those who are also on their phone.

There are two types of parents: those who get the kids to sleep, and those who then step on the one creaky floorboard.

There are two types of parents: those who keep a calendar, and those who missed picture day two years running.

There are two types of parents: those whose kid eats vegetables, and those who hid the vegetables and got found out.

There are two types of parents: those who potty-trained calmly, and those who have cleaned a car seat they would rather forget.

There are two types of parents: those who say "share with your brother," and those refereeing a summit over one toy.

There are two types of parents: those who do the reading log nightly, and those signing a week of it on Sunday.

There are two types of parents: those whose teen does chores, and those whose teen's room is now a registered ecosystem.

There are two types of parents: those who planned the birthday party, and those who realized the party is tomorrow.

There are two types of parents: those who answer the 6 a.m. wake-up cheerfully, and those who are, spiritually, deceased.

There are two types of parents: those who limit sugar before bed, and those who learned the hard way at a sleepover.

There are two types of parents: those whose kid sleeps in their own bed, and those sleeping sideways with a foot in their ribs.

There are two types of parents: those who say "use your words," and those whose kid used all of them, loudly, in a quiet store.

There are two types of parents: those who packed extra clothes, and those whose kid is now in a gift-shop T-shirt three sizes wrong.

There are two types of parents: those who get a "thank you," and those who get "you're the worst" for cutting the sandwich wrong.

There are two types of parents: those who enforce bedtime, and those whose 7 p.m. became a snack, then water, then a sudden fear of sharks.

There are two types of parents: those who keep one pacifier tracked, and those who own seventeen and can locate zero.

There are two types of parents: those who say "we don't do that in this house," and those too tired to enforce it.

There are two types of parents: those who took the cute photo, and those with 400 blurry shots and one where everyone's eyes are closed.