55 Autocorrect Jokes for the Misspellings That Got Sent

I told my phone to stop saying "ducking" and it changed it to "ducking" with a capital D, as if to give the lie more dignity.

Autocorrect changed "I'll be late" to "I'll be lake." My boss replied "safe travels" and I am still not sure whether he was being polite or whether he believes I have transformed into a body of water.

My phone has decided my coworker's last name is a verb, and every email I send him reads like a threat.

"Thinking of you" came out "stinking of you." I have not been forgiven and I am not sure I should be.

I texted my partner "running to the store" and autocorrect made it "ruining to the store." Honestly, accurate.

"I'm at the gym" became "I'm at the gum." My friend asked which flavor and I have been thinking about that question for three years.

"See you at home" turned into "see you at hone." My partner spent twenty minutes trying to figure out which restaurant Hone was.

The suggestion bar offered me three options once: my wife's name, my mother's name, and the word "regret." My phone knows.

Predictive text finished my sentence with "and that's why I love you, Brenda." I am not dating a Brenda. I have never met a Brenda.

"Let me check" became "let me chest." My manager replied with a question mark that I am still drafting a response to.

"Great seeing you" went out as "great seething you." The recipient sent back "you too" and I respect her commitment to the bit.

My phone replaced "happy birthday Karen" with "happy birthday Kareem" in the family group chat. Karen has not spoken to me since 2019.

I sent wedding congratulations to the wrong couple's name. My phone autocorrected the bride's name to her ex-boyfriend's. We are no longer invited to things.

"I'm on my way" became "I'm in my way." Which, philosophically, is the most accurate I have ever been.

My name is Ishan and my phone has known me for nine years and still thinks I meant "Ishaan" or "Inhaler."

The dictionary on my phone learned a nickname for a coworker that I have never used and now suggests it in every email. I have been calling him Brian.

Autocorrect changed "haha" to "ha he." Now my friend thinks I am laughing in two parts about a third party.

I typed "lol" and it became "low." Tonally correct, structurally devastating.

"No thanks" autocorrected to "no tanks." I am now in a long conversation with the army recruiter about my position on armored vehicles.

I texted "I'll bring wine" and my phone sent "I'll bring wife." My friends are now expecting two people, and one of them is not coming.

Autocorrect treats proper nouns the way I treat houseplants. With confidence, no memory, and a high mortality rate.

My phone changed "Asana" to "Asian" in a sentence about project management software. HR has scheduled a meeting.

I gave a presentation about Kubernetes and my phone, mid-dictation, called it Cucumbers. The slides have been renamed. The team has not let it go.

I dictated a text on a windy walk and my phone wrote down the wind. The message was eight minutes of consonants and the word "yes."

Dictation captured my toddler's babble verbatim and sent it to my mother. She replied "I agree completely."

Autocorrect changed "I am proud of you" to "I am prod of you." My nephew is twelve. He is going to remember that one.

At a funeral I texted "thinking of you" and it came out "thanking you." I have not been to a family event since.

I tried to send the eagle emoji and my thumb hit the ear. The reply was "what." I had no defense.

I meant to send a thumbs up and sent a GIF of a man falling off a horse. The message was about a job offer. I got the job.

I typed a kiss emoji and my phone offered heart eyes, then sent heart eyes to my dentist. He replied with a tooth.

Autocorrect turned a laughing face into the angry face and I have been defending myself ever since to someone who told a perfectly fine joke.

My phone prefers "definitely" until the one time I want "definitely," at which point it offers "defiantly" with the confidence of a man who has never been wrong.

Autocorrect replaced "your" with "you're" and then in the same sentence replaced "you're" with "your." It is a lifestyle.

I texted "I'll be there" and it came out "I'll be their." My friend's English teacher mother responded faster than my friend did.

"We are home" became "we are hone." My wife asked if we were a verb now.

I sent an apology for an autocorrect typo and the apology contained a fresh autocorrect typo. I am now apologizing about the apology.

My phone has misspelled Wednesday since 2012 and I have not corrected it because at this point we are in it together.

My friend's name is Naomi and my phone has variously rendered her as Gnomic, Naoki, and Anomie. She has stopped responding to texts.

Dictation in the car picked up the GPS voice and sent my mother a text consisting entirely of "in four hundred feet, turn right."

I told dictation about my weekend and it transcribed a podcast that was playing in the background. My boss now knows my opinions on sourdough.

"Sent from my iPhone" is the only thing my phone has never autocorrected and I find that deeply suspicious.

"Ducking autocorrect" is the alibi everyone uses, and we all know what it really stands in for, and we keep nodding anyway. It is a social contract.

I accepted the wrong autocorrect twice and now my phone is convinced "definitely" means "defiantly" and there is no going back.

My six-year-old typed "I love you" with four letters wrong and my phone passed it through unchanged. The phone knows what matters.

Autocorrect added an apostrophe to "its" in a contract. The lawyer's reply was a single word. I will not repeat the word.

Autocorrect removed the apostrophe from "it's" in a job application. I did not get the job. I blame the phone. The phone has moved on.

I set my keyboard to British English for one trip and now every email I send has the word "colour" in it and my American boss thinks I am putting on airs.

Autocorrect changed "organize" to "organise" and then back to "organize" in the same paragraph. The phone is at war with itself.

I dictated a sensitive message in a coffee shop and the phone captured the barista calling out an order. My HR rep thinks I want a flat white.

My boss's first name is Russ and my phone keeps making it "buss." I have started signing emails to him "Dear B," out of self-preservation.

I typed "chicken" into a recipe text and autocorrect capitalized the next word, which was "god." My mother thinks I have started a religion.

I have a contact saved as "Mom" and my phone, after a decade, suggested "Mon" instead. My mother is not from Jamaica. The text did not land.

My phone offered the word "penultimate" in a text to a plumber. I do not know why it thought I needed it, and I do not know why I accepted it.

Autocorrect, when offered a clear typo and an obscure but real word, will pick the obscure word every time. My phone once changed "meeting" to "meeling." Meeling is a place in New Zealand. I have never been.

The suggestion bar offered, in order, "the," "a," and "yes." I have been writing my novel from that bar for a year. It is going well.

I have made peace with autocorrect the way you make peace with a roommate who occasionally throws out your mail. We coexist. We do not trust each other. I am writing this on a typewriter.