What are "There are two types of people" jokes? They are a short humor format that contrasts two opposite workplace habits or types in one punchline, usually opening with "there are two types of people."
45 There Are Two Types of People: Office Edition
There are two types of people in a meeting: those who could have sent an email, and those who did, and scheduled the meeting anyway.
There are two types of people: those who say "per my last email," and those who deserve it.
There are two types of people: those who mute on the call, and those breathing directly into thirty headsets.
There are two types of people: those who reply-all by mistake, and those who reply-all to ask everyone to stop replying all.
There are two types of people: those who say "let's circle back," and those who never, ever circle back.
There are two types of people: those who join on time, and those asking "can everyone see my screen?" for four minutes.
There are two types of people: those who end the meeting early, and those who say "while I have you all" at minute 59.
There are two types of people: those who set a realistic deadline, and those who said "EOD" at 4:45.
There are two types of people: those who take notes, and those who ask "what were the action items?" the second it ends.
There are two types of people: those who say "quick question," and those whose quick question is a 25-minute saga.
There are two types of people: those who read the whole email, and those who replied to line one and missed the deadline in line three.
There are two types of people: those who put it on the calendar, and those who say "I didn't see the invite."
There are two types of people: those who use Slack threads, and those who send eleven separate messages, one word each.
There are two types of people: those who book a room, and those holding a meeting in the hallway you have to walk through.
There are two types of people: those who decline the optional meeting, and those who attend it resentfully.
There are two types of people: those who refill the coffee pot, and those who left a thimble of coffee to avoid making more.
There are two types of people: those who hit the deadline, and those who discover the deadline the day after.
There are two types of people: those who reply "thanks!", and those who reply "thanks!" to "thanks!" forever.
There are two types of people: those who put an agenda in the invite, and those whose meeting is a mystery box.
There are two types of people: those who schedule across time zones carefully, and those who booked it for someone's 5 a.m.
There are two types of people: those who finished the project, and those still "syncing" about it.
There are two types of people: those who use the shared drive, and those who emailed "final_v3_REAL_final.docx."
There are two types of people: those who say "let's take this offline," and those who never take it offline.
There are two types of people: those who did the mandatory training, and those clicking Next without reading since 2014.
There are two types of people: those who block focus time, and those whose calendar is one solid block of meetings.
There are two types of people: those who keep the meeting to 30 minutes, and those who booked an hour and will use every second.
There are two types of people: those who unmute to speak, and those who talk for a minute on mute and start over, defeated.
There are two types of people: those who CC the manager strategically, and those who BCC HR and mean it.
There are two types of people: those who clear the inbox daily, and those with 19,000 unread and a clear conscience.
There are two types of people: those who use Zoom, and those who use Teams, and they will never agree which is worse.
There are two types of people: those who set OOO and disconnect, and those answering email from the beach and ruining it for everyone.
There are two types of people: those who say "no worries if not," and those who very much have worries.
There are two types of people: those who keep standup to standing-up length, and those who turned it into therapy.
There are two types of people: those who finished the slide deck, and those building it live during the presentation.
There are two types of people: those who book the 1:1, and those who skip it and call it "giving you autonomy."
There are two types of people: those who say "ping me," and those who got pinged at 11 p.m. and regret the offer.
There are two types of people: those who use the meeting chat for notes, and those posting "good morning everyone" gifs.
There are two types of people: those who respect "we're at time," and those who say "I know we're at time, but..."
There are two types of people: those who read the room, and those who scheduled "fun" team-building for Friday at 5.
There are two types of people: those who say "happy to help," and those who are not.
There are two types of people: those who leave when the meeting ends, and those who stay on to "debrief the meeting."
There are two types of people: those who answer within the hour, and those whose autoresponder says "twice a day" and means twice a week.
There are two types of people: those who say "great question," and those stalling for the answer.
There are two types of people: those who escalate calmly, and those who added "URGENT" to a subject line about snacks.
There are two types of people: those who finish the agenda, and those who already booked the follow-up to finish the agenda.
See also
- 35 "There Are Two Types of People" Jokes: Remote Worker Edition: the same meetings, now from your kitchen.
- 40 "There Are Two Types of People" Jokes: Coffee Edition: the office pot and the thimble left in it.
- 50 "There Are Two Types of People" Jokes: AI Edition: the AI that summarized the meeting nobody read.
- 50 "There Are Two Types of People" Jokes: Developer Edition: the standup where "two days" was estimated.
- 30 "There Are Two Types of People" Jokes Everyone Can Relate To: the no-lanyard version.
Sources
Authoritative references this article was fact-checked against.





