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45 There Are Two Types of People: Office Edition

45 'There are two types of people' jokes for office workers: meetings that could've been emails, reply-all chaos, 'per my last email,' Slack threads, and the 4:45 EOD deadline.

Ishan Karunaratne⏱️ 2 min readUpdated
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Office 'there are two types of people' jokes about meetings, Slack, Teams, email, managers, coffee, deadlines, HR, and reply-all chaos.

What are "There are two types of people" jokes? They are a short humor format that contrasts two opposite workplace habits or types in one punchline, usually opening with "there are two types of people."

45 There Are Two Types of People: Office Edition

There are two types of people in a meeting: those who could have sent an email, and those who did, and scheduled the meeting anyway.

There are two types of people: those who say "per my last email," and those who deserve it.

There are two types of people: those who mute on the call, and those breathing directly into thirty headsets.

There are two types of people: those who reply-all by mistake, and those who reply-all to ask everyone to stop replying all.

There are two types of people: those who say "let's circle back," and those who never, ever circle back.

There are two types of people: those who join on time, and those asking "can everyone see my screen?" for four minutes.

There are two types of people: those who end the meeting early, and those who say "while I have you all" at minute 59.

There are two types of people: those who set a realistic deadline, and those who said "EOD" at 4:45.

There are two types of people: those who take notes, and those who ask "what were the action items?" the second it ends.

There are two types of people: those who say "quick question," and those whose quick question is a 25-minute saga.

There are two types of people: those who read the whole email, and those who replied to line one and missed the deadline in line three.

There are two types of people: those who put it on the calendar, and those who say "I didn't see the invite."

There are two types of people: those who use Slack threads, and those who send eleven separate messages, one word each.

There are two types of people: those who book a room, and those holding a meeting in the hallway you have to walk through.

There are two types of people: those who decline the optional meeting, and those who attend it resentfully.

There are two types of people: those who refill the coffee pot, and those who left a thimble of coffee to avoid making more.

There are two types of people: those who hit the deadline, and those who discover the deadline the day after.

There are two types of people: those who reply "thanks!", and those who reply "thanks!" to "thanks!" forever.

There are two types of people: those who put an agenda in the invite, and those whose meeting is a mystery box.

There are two types of people: those who schedule across time zones carefully, and those who booked it for someone's 5 a.m.

There are two types of people: those who finished the project, and those still "syncing" about it.

There are two types of people: those who use the shared drive, and those who emailed "final_v3_REAL_final.docx."

There are two types of people: those who say "let's take this offline," and those who never take it offline.

There are two types of people: those who did the mandatory training, and those clicking Next without reading since 2014.

There are two types of people: those who block focus time, and those whose calendar is one solid block of meetings.

There are two types of people: those who keep the meeting to 30 minutes, and those who booked an hour and will use every second.

There are two types of people: those who unmute to speak, and those who talk for a minute on mute and start over, defeated.

There are two types of people: those who CC the manager strategically, and those who BCC HR and mean it.

There are two types of people: those who clear the inbox daily, and those with 19,000 unread and a clear conscience.

There are two types of people: those who use Zoom, and those who use Teams, and they will never agree which is worse.

There are two types of people: those who set OOO and disconnect, and those answering email from the beach and ruining it for everyone.

There are two types of people: those who say "no worries if not," and those who very much have worries.

There are two types of people: those who keep standup to standing-up length, and those who turned it into therapy.

There are two types of people: those who finished the slide deck, and those building it live during the presentation.

There are two types of people: those who book the 1:1, and those who skip it and call it "giving you autonomy."

There are two types of people: those who say "ping me," and those who got pinged at 11 p.m. and regret the offer.

There are two types of people: those who use the meeting chat for notes, and those posting "good morning everyone" gifs.

There are two types of people: those who respect "we're at time," and those who say "I know we're at time, but..."

There are two types of people: those who read the room, and those who scheduled "fun" team-building for Friday at 5.

There are two types of people: those who say "happy to help," and those who are not.

There are two types of people: those who leave when the meeting ends, and those who stay on to "debrief the meeting."

There are two types of people: those who answer within the hour, and those whose autoresponder says "twice a day" and means twice a week.

There are two types of people: those who say "great question," and those stalling for the answer.

There are two types of people: those who escalate calmly, and those who added "URGENT" to a subject line about snacks.

There are two types of people: those who finish the agenda, and those who already booked the follow-up to finish the agenda.

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TagsHumorJokesThere Are Two Types of PeopleOfficeMeetingsWork

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Ishan Karunaratne

Tech Architect · Software Engineer · AI/DevOps

Tech architect and software engineer with 20+ years building software, Linux systems, and DevOps infrastructure, and lately working AI into the stack. Currently Chief Technology Officer at a healthcare tech startup, which is where most of these field notes come from.

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